Today is my 37th birthday.
My reflection today was very decorated with “What am I going to accomplish for this next year of my life?”. I wrestled all day with pseudo resolutions, expectations, 38 X 38 lists and came to the same conclusion: I don’t want to set up myself for failure. Does that sound pessimistic? I think it is more realistic.
What I want to do instead is reflect on what I know for sure. Okay, so maybe I’ve taken it from Oprah’s reflection page in every issue of O Magazine. But I like to think of it as an inspiration, rather than a stealing =)
So what I know for sure at age 37:
Life cannot be planned. What you expect will be may not always come to fruition. My childhood was full of wonder at the big world ahead of me. My teens were full of stumbling at what I thought the world was supposed to be. The 20s were full of excitement as I felt comfortable dancing in new experiences. My 30s so far have been more of a juggle and stress. It has made me question who I am, what my purpose is, and whether or not I am living to fulfill that. I’m still there at 37. But what I do know for sure, is that this past year has instilled hope again at what life is giving me and confidence that life is good, because He is good.
This past year I wrestled with health issues and job issues. Two days after my 37th birthday, I am about to embark on more invasive procedures to resolve my health issues. I’m hoping this will be a turning point. I also am more happy at work. My work environment has been flipped upside down and improved 200%. The past year my relationship with my husband continued to get stronger, my mothering of my daughters has started to change to more of a mentorship role as they’ve matured a bit more. Most importantly, I’m living life again. I’ve just started venturing into things I’ve always wanted to try, taste, and see.
This upcoming year of my life I only know the following:
I will celebrate my 12 year of marriage to my loving husband.
My oldest will start middle school (yikes!).
Whatever else happens is up to Him. And I’m stoked!