so it has been 2 cycles since i last wrote, but i’ve had a snag in my journey to get my parts working enough to regain my fertility. my first cycle of femara failed. my second showed 1 large follicle that was already at 24, no trigger shot, and no success. my third cycle was a bust with the discovery of two large cysts on my left ovary…both around 4 cm each…that’s about 8 cm diameter taking up space IN my ovary! blah! i just did an ultrasound on my CD2 as recommended to find that one of the cysts and shrunk and disappeared. the other? it’s bigger. now 5.5 cm. the doctor said to take it easy, no running or strenuous activity. i can honestly say i now just want my body to feel normal and healthy. that is now my priority. i went shopping the other day for new winter coats for my girls and passed the baby section. for the first time in almost 2 years, i did not initially feel excited, anxious, eager, or depressed at the sight of cribs, tiny baby clothes, etc. i felt indifferent. i looked at it as if i had passed a blank white wall. i was most sad that my reaction was so emotionless after all of this.
i don’t have much pain from the cyst. my RE said to take it easy to try to prevent rupture or torsion of the ovary. the only thing i have noticed is the tremendous fatigue i have. after walking for a period of time or moving briskly, i notice an achy feeling and slight twinges of pain. however, nothing mood altering. i feel like a ticking time bomb. i am getting anxious that an episode of sudden onset intense pain is imminent. maybe it is in my mind. but i just want to feel normal again.